The Last Man

" . . . I had not known you a month before I felt that you were the last man in the world whom I could ever be prevailed on to marry."

As Darcy walked out of the parsonage, he suddenly heard great peals of thunder. Thick, heavy clouds darkened the sky and bright flashes of lightning blazed across the horizon. The wind began to churn fiercely, bending the thick tall trees towards the ground. He briefly thought the effect might be an improvement on his aunt's landscaping, but all thought fled his mind as the earth began to shake and crack beneath him. Rain began to pound the land in blinding sheets. Huge hailstones fell all around him. All he could think of was Elizabeth's safety and as he ran back into the parsonage he did not even notice that he had remained untouched by any of these elements.

He entered the room and said, "Miss Bennet, forgive me, are you all right? The weather has turned very strange. It appears quite . . . apocolyptic out there!"

"Oh for heaven's sake. Can you not return to Rosings in a little rain?" Elizabeth opened the door and what she saw was more than a little rain, coupled with hail, lightning, thunder and heavy winds. "Oh dear," she said.

"See. I told you," he replied, looking over her shoulder. "All we need now is a little fire and brimstone." Just as he spoke, flaming rocks began falling from the sky and lava began to flow from the crevices that had formed in the ground.

"Oh, do be quiet!" said Elizabeth, turning to face him.

Darcy reached up over her and closed the door. "It appears you are stuck with me."

She sighed in frustration, "I suppose you may wait out the storm here. But I intend to read, so please do not disturb me."

They each selected a book from Mr. Collins' limited collection and sat together reading for about an hour. The calmness that followed the storm stirred them from their books. Elizabeth looked up casually and said, "It appears that you will make it home safely now."

"I doubt there is anything to go home to," he replied, strolling to the window. There was not a building left standing within his view. He returned to his chair and Elizabeth rolled her eyes. After another half hour of his company she could not take any more and declared that she was going out for a walk.

Darcy waved her away and grunted something incoherent, then returned his attention to his book.

Elizabeth walked to Rosings but the building was in rubble on the ground. She walked and walked and walked. She passed through London, and that great city was levelled. She became convinced that the construction of Hunsford Parsonage must have been of extraordinary quality.

She walked and walked throughout the kingdom and found nothing but barely identifiable remnants of a civilization that once was. Upon reaching the coast she looked about her, there was not a servicable boat to be found, and she did not know how to sail in any case. Finally she saw a small skiff that appeared in good condition with a couple of oars in it. She rowed to the continent and began searching anew for any sign of life.

She walked and walked and walked through Germany and Norway and the kingdoms of Europe. But everything was calm and overwhelmingly silent. She saw no mountains, apparently they had all crumbled into the sea. She searched the Siberian wilderness as her steps carried her to the far east. She reflected to herself that it was a good thing she was such an excellent walker.

China was reduced to rubble, and when she reached the coast she looked out upon the water with hope. After a quick jaunt to Japan and the surrounding islands in a convenient rowboat, she turned her eyes towards The New World. Surely the devastation she had witnessed had not crossed the vast expanse of the Pacific Ocean. She thought it would be too far to row, so she fashioned a primitive hot air balloon and sailed through the air. She passed over several islands, and at first she thought she would have to land on each one. Luckily, she discovered a pair of opera glasses in her pocket. She was able to view the islands without having to descend from her lofty perch. They were all barren. Finally, she landed in North America.

She resumed her journey and walked through the wilds of America and Canada. She crossed through Central America and searched South America and even walked across Antarctica. Having discovered no one, she quickly turned north again towards Australia and luckily found another rowboat available for her use. She covered the Land Down Under with her footsteps, and next she quickly searched a smaller country she decided to call "Middle Earth." And still she found no one.

She hopped from island to island until she landed in India. She walked all of its roads and then traversed the Arabian desert and still she found nothing. Africa was her last hope. The Dark Continent was as vacuous as all the other lands she had thus far visited, and finding herself in Morocco she had only to cross to Spain and then continue home. She walked and walked and walked through that land as well as the remaining countries in that region, ending in France. Finally she found herself on the English channel. She longed to be home, but this time there was no boat nearby. She dove into the water and swam to England, resigning herself to her future.

She quickly made her way to Kent and returned to Hunsford Parsonage where she found Darcy sitting where she had left him, his feet perched on the table, one leg tossed casually over the other, making hand puppets on the far wall using the light from the window behind him. Her form blocked the light when she entered the room. Without turning he said, "Ah, there you are. Could you step aside a bit?" She moved to one side and, having regained his light, he resumed his occupation. "Did you find anyone?" he asked in a patronizing way, as he made a bird's shadow fly across the wall.

"No. I did not."

"So I am the last man in the world," he said knowingly.

"It appears that you are."

"It is a shame."

"Why do you say that? You shall have your wish. I will marry you."

"But my dear Miss Bennet," he replied sadly, "there is no one to perform the ceremony."

FINIS

Darcy and Elizabeth had been sitting in the parsonage drawing room recreating the crusades in shadows on the wall. When angled just so, their twenty toes appeared as a vast army. "You have really gotten rather good at this," said Elizabeth.

"Thank you. It is the result of constant practice," replied Darcy, pleased by her compliment.

"Lady Catherine would be proud I'm sure!"

"Yes, and if she had only been able to practice making shadow puppets with her toes she would have been a great proficient!"

Elizabeth laughed and said, "We must find something else to occupy our time."

Darcy sighed. "We could be very busy repopulating the human race . . ."

"Don't start with that again," said Elizabeth.

FINIS

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